A New Year, A New Me

Well here we go again. I doubt anyone reads this blog anymore but I feel like I need to just vent and get a bunch of stuff out as I begin this new year of 2015 in a healthy light. I feel like I have done this too many times and I want to finish it and be done. I want to feel healthy and look healthy. I was released from a very time consuming calling from church and now I feel like I have more time to focus on me. There are so many things I want to do to improve myself. When it comes to eating healthy and exercising I feel like I am always waiting for that motivation that only comes in spurts and when I don't have it I don't push myself. So last night as I was shoving salad down my throat at 10 o'clock at night, I figured out that determination and motivation are not the same thing. I have to be determined to do this. I need to start with smaller milestones to work to instead of just looking at the end result. So I will make a plan. Here is my plan:
-In 30 days I want to lose 10lbs - I think this is doable. We joined a gym so I have no excuse not to exercise everyday. If I see I can do this then I know I can do more and my next milestone should be bigger
-In 60 days I want to lose 25lbs This one will be tougher because its longer and I'm pretty sure I will struggle. But I will do it and at the end of this goal I will be down a total of 30 lbs. That means shopping trip. My clothes won't fit me anymore so that seems a legit reason to get some new ones.
- In 30 days I want to lose 10 lbs. This is back to a smaller goal but I think the weight loss will start to taper off because I will have lost most of the weight. I will be down 45 lbs which for me is huge.
-In 30 days I want to lose 8 lbs. This is smaller but I think at this point I will be toning and things will be slowing down as I focus on strength.
-In 30 days I want to be down 5 lbs. This will be in June and I will hopefully be down 58 lbs. My goal is to lose 60. After that I will see. Right now I am at 211. At least thats what the Dr. office said yesterday. So this should bring me down to 153 and my final goal is to be down to 140. So I will spread out this final amount over the next 2 months. When I get to that point I will plan it out more.
So there are my goals for weight loss this year. I also plan to practice the piano and flute at least 4 times a week. I have lessons for Piano and I am going to just have to practice the flute on my own. I also plan on going back to school now that the kids are both in school. I want and need to help our family out financially more than I am with my photography and preschool teaching.
Writing in my journal is my last one. I wan't to record what is going on in my life. I want my kids to know what we went through as they grew up. I have missed so much.
So here is to the new year. I will make changes and I will be determined. Even when I don't have motivation, I will have determination. I have lived like this for too long and I want to know what its like to be thin and healthy.

Slowest progress ever

So I keep jumping back and forth between the same 2 lbs. I hate it. I feel like my body has just stopped losing weight but I still feel good. My running has stopped because the kids are out of school and I hate running early morning outside because it scares me a little. I heard of some ladies that were attacked on a bike path and that makes me nervous. I had a weird weekend because I was at girls camp and I couldn't exercise and eating well was tough but I think I did pretty good. Tonight I noticed my back hurting a little and my sciatica acting up a bit but as I was thinking about it, I haven't had back problems for a while. I can only imagine how nice it will be when I lose more weight.

So this plateau these past couple weeks has me a little frustrated. I know that my body still feels thinner but the scale is making me mad. So I did a little research. I found this at Builtlean.com and it had some really good info:

So this made me feel better and now I'm going to keep watching the scale a little less and focus on my eating more and making sure I exercise more often and with more intensity.  I started doing a Zumba class every other week at church and I love it, because honestly I love to shake it.

I also forgot to say that I missed my race. I know. Suck. I got sick that week and then we drove to pick up the swag for it and I got excited and I decided to just go for it anyway. Well Saturday morning we woke up and Patrick had my fever and the same symptoms. So we decided it wouldn't have been a great idea to take him out there and sit in the heat while I run for 45 minutes. I definitely want to do another race and follow through but of course I need to figure out this running thing. I ran around the block tonight and it was hot but not bad. That might need to be what I do for a while until the kids are back in school and I the weather cools down a bit.

You know what makes it worth it??

People asking if you've lost weight. Even my husband has noticed a difference. I don't care what people think of me but its good to know that even though I feel better there is an outward physical difference. I have been doing great with a few bad days here and there but nothing severe so it feels good to be getting somewhere. It makes it so much easier to have my husband doing this with me. He is my support.  Hopefully by next summer when we go to Hawaii I'll look more like

This:

Yes 2 posts!

Yes I'm posting 2 posts in 1 day. Sad. I was doing so well. Was.  Its teacher appreciation week and I stayed up to make cookies. STUPID!!!!!! Seriously what was I thinking????!!!!! I scarfed down 3.  Possibly 4. At 11 O'clock at night!!! I need to get this out there into the void so that I can move on and get right back on track tomorrow.  I missed my run because of work but I'm going tomorrow morning to make up for it. Good thing they made me feel sick. And I'm going to give out the rest of them so they aren't screaming my name in the morning.

Down 8 lbs!!

Ok so I've lost 8 lbs! Yay! It feels good to finally see some improvement. Jesús even says I look a little thinner. That really boosts my self esteem and makes me want to keep going. I was sort of stuck and bouncing back and forth between 4 and 5 lbs so I talked to my sister and she said my caloric intake was too low so I raised it by 200 and the next day I had dropped 3 more lbs. It felt so good!! Yesterday I wore a dress that I haven't worn in 2 years or more. When I got the zipper up it felt so good. I couldn't stop looking in the mirror. Its this same dress. I of course didn't take any pictures in it because it was maybe a little bit tighter than I'm used to but it felt good to wear it and I got a lot of compliments on it at church.

I've been reading Runs For Cookies and I love to read all she has to say. I was reading about her plastic surgery and it makes me want that so bad!! I already have sagging skin and I know its going to just get worse as I continue but it would be so nice to have that gone. I love reading other bloggers that have lost the weight and it makes me motivated to keep trying. I feel better already and my husband is working hard with me. We are going to be the hottest couple around!!

Doing good so far!

So I have been doing great so far, my only trouble was yesterday when I cooked some frozen pre-made pasta from Costco and I didn't know what the caloric count was so I'm sure I over did it. I'm down 5 lbs and I'm running 2 miles 3 times a week with Zumba twice a week.
 I love Myfitnesspal app. Without it I would go terribly overboard. I have really enjoyed running. At first of course I sort of dread going but I feel so good when I'm done. I am almost ready for my 5k next month. I'm not drinking soda more than maybe once a week if I have it at all and Im avoiding going out to eat. I know eventually I will go but for now I will focus on what I'm eating at home. When I lost all the weight a few years ago I think I was so motivated because I had lost all my pregnancy weight from breastfeeding and I had no desire to eat a ton of food so that must have been a hormonal thing. This time around its just me. I want to do this and after 2 weeks of trying hard, I feel better already and I want take this all the way. There will be mistakes but I will remember there is always tomorrow and I will do better tomorrow.
We are going to the beach this summer and Hawaii next year. I will look and feel better by this summer but I will be hot by next summer. I can do this.

Take......100??

How many times do I post that I'm starting over again? Well guess what? I'm starting over again. Yes. I have great support in my very own home this time though. Thats right, my husband is doing it with me.  My friend Nathalie and I are working together and supporting and checking on each other as well. She just had a baby so she has a great excuse. I have none. I'm just fat and lazy.
Nathalie and I have signed up for a race next month with my bestie Amber. I'm so stinking scared. I've started running. I started last week and this week I can run a mile and a half. I'm trying to run 3 days a week and doing XBox Zumba the other two days. I am counting my calories and I've discovered that I had set my calorie limit way too low. Now that its fixed I've started to lose weight. Very exciting. I'm taking this one a day at a time. I keep looking at the big picture and getting overwhelmed and losing my faith in myself. This time I am only worrying about how I do that day. If I make a mistake I know that I can do a better job the next day. I want to be healthy and I want to feel better about myself and know that I can't blame how I treated my body if something goes wrong.

Might as well post

I was sitting here creating a 2 week menu of healthy meals and I was getting recipes off the side of my page and figured that I might as well post.
Well we are all moved into our house! November has been a rough month because my best friend moved to town and we helped her get moved in and they stayed with us a few nights so we took them to some good eatin' and that was tough to stay on track which I did not. So I am more motivated to get back to exercising this week. My kids, husband and I have all had our turns during this move to feel under the weather. Of course not eating right doesn't help that at all. So I am starting fresh with healthy meals packed with fruits and veggies and we moved into this great little neighborhood that I can run through. My block is actually a decent size and I am planning on trying to train running around it. Then hopefully brach out. Now that the weather is cool, that should help. I can't run on Tuesdays or Thursdays because Elena is home with me but Mondays and Wednesdays should be ok then on Fridays I work so I will have to try to go in the evening or go for a walk with the kids.
I discovered yesterday when I decided to pick up Patrick from his first day at his new school, he is in perfect walking distance, so Elena and I will be walking to get him from now on, depending on weather. But it was fun yesterday so I'm looking forward to it.
As I unpacked a few things yesterday, I found some clothes that are my size but a little tight, I'm hoping that by Christmas I will be at a place where they feel comfortable on me. That is my short term goal for now, after I weigh myself I will have a more definite goal and thats what I hope will keep me motivated is small short term goals. Looking at the big picture gets discouraging.

Yesterday

So yesterday was better. As soon as I was able to get off the couch and take Elena to preschool, I hightailed it to Walmart and raided their produce section. I came home and marinated some chicken for salads throughout the week but that eventually became dinner. Luckily I only had one bowl of salad and then saved the rest for today. I didn't exercise but I walked around quite a bit and didn't really get a chance to sit down until the kids were in bed. Tomorrow, Elena has preschool and I plan on going for a walk and add in some jogging if my back is feeling up to it. My meals will be serving sizes and I will have 5-6 of them throughout the day to help my metabolism. I did get on the scale this morning because I will want to know my weight but I'm not going to worry about the fluctuation because I know that is normal, especially in women. I am going to measure everything today too so I know what I'm starting from and how many inches I lose.
I want to be healthy. I want to feel comfortable again in my own skin. I don't want to compare myself to those skinny gorgeous moms all around me at church. I have to be me and do it in my own time and decide every morning when I wake up that today will be a good day, even though it will be difficult to remember throughout the day, it is up to me how I feel at the end of the day. Its cooling off a little here and things are looking good for the house we are buying. Its in a beautiful quiet neighborhood that would be great for walks and jogging through when the kids are at school.
Thank you all you beautiful wonderful friends that have commented and encouraged me. Your support means so much.

Disappointment

I'm so disappointed in myself. I've lost my love of exercise, I've lost my self control. I'm back to where I hoped I would never be. It's even causing me health problems. I have back pain so often now. Mostly sciatica which is awful and I used to get it when I was pregnant. I'm too afraid to get on the scale because I'm afraid to see the damage I've done. Maybe by recognizing it and voicing my disappointment and fears will help get me back on the right track.
I'm afraid of hurting my back more. I'm afraid if exercising alone. I'm afraid exercising will be too hard with all this weight on me. Im afraid that i will miss the good food too much. I'm afraid of having a bad day and being too hard on myself for it.
As I'm sitting on my couch with a heating pad trying to calm the burning pain in my hip and back, I wonder which is scarier; sitting here and letting the pain get worse and ending up not being able to move or getting back into a regular exercise schedule and eating less and more of what my body needs.
I will not be one of those people that I pity because they have no control or do not care what happens to them but complain when they are unhappy or unhealthy. I will not become one of those people. Starting today it will be different. If its not, then I'm in trouble. My family is in trouble. They should not suffer because I can't stop stuffing my face and am being lazy. They will not suffer. This is all about to get better. I don't want to count pounds. I want to judge on how much I eat and inches and how I'm feeling over all. That's how this is going to happen. If you read this blog, be prepared for a lot of soul searching and blubbering about how hard it is. I'm afraid if I keep it inside then I will become a feeding frenzy when it gets difficult, which it will.

"I WORK OUT!!!"

This week is going to be hell. I can already tell. The kids are starting swimming  lessons that start early and Jesús is starting to work longer days so that he has to leave earlier which means I have to be up earlier if I want to go running. So that means I'll be starting my days at 5:20 rather than at 6:00. So for all of you Californians that read this, that means while you're sleeping in your bed at 3:20 am, I'll be getting up to work off my fat butt. Our ward is also starting a work out group on Mondays at 9, so when the kids are done with swim lessons, we have to jet on over to the church for work out number 2. I'm hoping to get some Zumba in too but this week that doesn't seem likely. I am also leaving for girls camp on Wednesday so I have a lot to do before then. I'm hoping to get some run time there too but we'll see how hot it gets.

Motivation

Ok so I have been pretty good, I'm down 5 lbs as of last week. My weigh in is tomorrow. I'm telling you its all about how much you eat and what it is you're eating.  I have the perfect motivation too. MY SISTER IS GETTING MARRIED!!!!! I'm so excited for her! I don't want to be the fatty at the reception and in any family pictures so since I know I have to wear a dress I want to lose as much weight as I can. I have 2 1/2 months. I'm hoping to be down at least 30 lbs. I am eating less carbs (except for that cinnamon roll I ate for lunch) everything else is fruit veggies and occasionally chicken or turkey. I love filling up on fruits and veggies, I feel much healthier. My breakfast consists of a Juice Plus shake with frozen fruit or berries and a little almond milk and regular low fat milk. I love how long it keeps me filled. Zumba has been really kicking my butt and I'm hoping to go running and do Zumba together and add weights. I think I can accomplish this goal if I just stick to this plan.

Once again, back on track

Ok so for the last two months I had really lost all my motivation, I was only working out maybe once a week and it was only half hearted work outs. Well last week I was eating a little better and by Friday I was frustrated with the kids and a messy house and no time to finish anything so I got up and went jogging/walking. The treadmill I was on didn't work very well and I thought I was going to fall but I at least got some exercise in. So yesterday at church one of the sisters gave a talk on the WOW (word of wisdom) which was revelation given to Joseph Smith on how to take care of our bodies. I really needed that reminder. I plan on studying the WOW this week to help me plan out my meals and help to keep me motivated.

If my mind can't keep me motivated, at least the Lord can. So today I got up again and earlier this time and went jogging at the gym. 3 miles down!! Woohoo!!! Then I came home and did Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred. Now I'm drinking a Juice Plus+ protein shake and feeling really good. I don't know why I wouldn't be able to keep this up, I stay more motivated throughout the day and spend more time being productive. I spend more time with my kids and less time worrying about the computer and shows that I have missed.

We just bought an X-Box Connect

and my husband just bought me the Zumba game.

I have never done Zumba but I think anything that I can add to my exercise schedule will help keep going. I want to be healthy. I want to live a healthier lifestyle. I have a spare calendar that I am going to start tracking my workout days and weight loss and possibly even write out planned meals throughout the day so I know exactly what I'm going to eat rather than staring into the fridge and the cupboards guessing what I'm going to eat. I'm going to plan shorter goals and try and get through either two weeks at a time or one month at a time. I also got a an email from someone making an app called SlimKicker.com asking my opinion on an app they were creating and I just used it this morning and it looks great, I'm excited to use it and see if it helps with my progress. To visit their website go here or go to http://www.slimkicker.com/ Its really an awesome site and a cool app to use for tracking fitness and food. It has a great challenge feature where you can sign up for a challenge such as not eating snacks after dinner or eating a salad a day. I know I definitely need challenges to keep me going. So for sure check it out.

Weigh in updated

I need to post really quick before I take the kids to the playground. I have been slacking a little this week. Last week was really rough and I took a whole weekend off from counting calories and went berserk. I haven't really been counting them this week either but I don't care much about it. I took monday off from running because it was too cold and I was afraid it would be icy outside. I did run 4 miles on Wednesday which felt good but my body was hurting all day afterward. Today I got up and realized I had no clean workout clothes. Boo. So I got back in bed and slept in until Elena crawled into bed with me and then we fell asleep again together. I think I finally was fully awake by 9:30 because the kids were jumping on top of me. I am almost down 10 lbs but I feel that its going awfully slow. Of course I know why, I'm not at the top of my game. I want to be running 3 miles a day which isn't necessary but I really want to eat lately. The more calories I burn, the more I can eat. I should probably do something today to make up for all the goldfish crackers I've been eating. Oh and those girl scout cookies that are on their way home in about an hour. I'm pretty sure they won't last through the night. Hormones suck.

Is my scale broken?

I got on the scale just for the heck of it this morning. I know its not my weigh in day but I was just curious. It said 196. something. That can't be right. Thats almost another 4 lbs. I will know for sure on Wednesday. I did get a new toy.I'm very excited about it. I have had my juice plus complete a few times which I love because of the taste and because of how long it keeps me full, but it doesn't blend well with milk while using a spoon. So I've been putting it in a water bottle and shaking it or using the big blender to add blueberries. This morning I used it to make me a fast blueberry Juice plus shake and it was divine and super fast and east to clean up. 100% worth it.

Check it out------------->

I weighed in this morning!! Down 4 lbs!!!! Finally some progress. I could actually say 5 lbs because I weighed myself last thursday too and I was at 205. Either way, I love seeing the difference. Jesús says I look thinner too. I measured my waist yesterday too, down an inch and a half! Woot!

A much needed update

I've been needing to get my feelings out about this month so far. I have been using the spark people app on my phone to track my calories. It was telling me that I should be eating 1520 to 1870 calories a day. Wrong!!! So wrong. If you'll noticed on the side of my blog in my weigh in section, it seems that I have been yo-yoing for the past 3 weeks. I have to admit that it was getting me discouraged and for the last two weeks I have been less motivated and mad that this isn't any easier. I've been lessening my workouts and being less productive at home. A depression so to speak. It sucked. Then I talked to my brilliant friend Kelsie who does this stuff for a living. She said maybe I wasnt eating enough or that my calorie intake amount was off. She was so right. She taught me how to calculate the amount of calories I should be eating a day.

First take your weight, I'll use mine as a example, 204 (or thats what it was at the time I discovered this trick). Multiply your weight by 10 and then again by 7. So now I have 14280. Then if you want to lose 1 pound a week you subtract 3,500 and if you want to lose 2 pounds a week you subtract 7,000. I of course would rather lose 2 so I subtracted 7,000. Now I have 7280. Divide this number by 7 and this is the number of calories you should be eating if you want to lose 2 lbs a week without exercising. If you exercise then you need to add back in the calories that you burn off, so for example my total came out to be 1040 but today I burned 461 calories while running. So now I add the 461 to my daily total 1040 and I get 1501. I have not burned that many calories since I started this new lifestyle change and I was eating more calories than that everyday. No wonder it wasn't working. So this weekend when I wasn't running, I had to be super careful about what I ate because I hadn't burned any calories. 1040 really isn't a lot compared to what I had been eating. Since I figured this out I have felt ten times better!!! Its amazing what a change it made to eat less. I'm not starving all the time because my stomach is getting used to me eating less. My energy is amazing also. Two weeks ago I would be back in bed after my workout and shower and now I'm getting stuff done. Oh and do you want a healthy energizing snack after your workout? Juice Plus Complete! I love it!! I blend it with some blue berries and its divine. I love the flavor and how long it keeps me full. I had it for breakfast before church yesterday and it kept me full almost the full 3 hours. I started to feel hungry about 10 minutes before we got out.

There's a reason that we are supposed to take care of our bodies. There is a purpose to this. It helps us live a more productive and happy life. I'm not saying that you shouldn't love yourself, but I love myself being healthy and having energy and being able to keep up with my kids. So hopefully on Wednesday when I weigh myself there is payoff to my new discovery.

Another update!

Ok, I have been trying to work out 5 days a week, 6 if I can. Last week was rough because it was after Christmas and before new years and both of my kids had to go to urgent care. I did however get in 4 days last week. I am back up to running 30 minutes straight and walking 5 minutes, except today I walked 10 and ran 30 with a 5 minute cool down. My goal is to burn as close to 300 calories a day as I can so that one of my meals is obsolete. And guess what I got for Christmas?!!!A Jack Lallane juicer!!! I was on THIS site the other day and I was reading how green juicing is becoming very popular. But the reason its becoming popular is because its good for you. Your basically just drinking your fruits and vegetables without cooking them so you are losing the nutrients that you need. So raw fruits and veggies every day. I mentioned to my husband that I wanted to look for one on craigslist and Christmas morning I opened up a brand new one!!
We have been juicing for 6 days now. We are replacing breakfast with green juice. So far we have made up our own recipes which have been pretty good, but there are recipes online. We were thinking about getting a book too.
So lets get down to it, we bought a scale. I know. Why on earth haven't we had a scale before? Well this is a weight watchers endorsed one. I wanted one that I knew would be closer to my weight rather than the cheapo ones that you can buy that change your weight every 10 minutes. So the last time I was weighed was the weekend before we moved to Texas and that was on the first. I weighed 206. Scary, I know. So last week on Wednesday morning I weighed myself and I am down 3lbs. So now I am at 203. Its a start. I am going to weigh myself every week on Wednesday. I think weighing myself on Mondays might be bad since weekends are rough with all the eating I do and not as much exercise other than cleaning and walking around. So for my weight tracker on the side I am thinking I will start over so I am not looking at the past and instead I am focusing on the future. 2012 will be my year.

Ok time for an update

Its been a while but its time to update. I have gained back every pound I lost last year and since I had Elena. Sad, I know. But I am determined to get to my goal. We moved to Texas at the beginning of December and our apartment complex has a fitness center. So far I have gotten up all but 3 days since last Monday. I plan on going every morning except Sundays. I will have to work up to that this week and so far so good. I still need a scale. I'm thinking we'll get one next week or in January. I am also using my spark people app on my phone to make sure I'm not overeating and making sure I burn enough calories.

I have been pinning cute out fits on Pinterest so I can motivate myself. I even pictured myself in one of those outfits this morning and tried to run towards it on the treadmill. I know, weird but effective. I have also been pinning some inspiration. I'm thinking in a year I will be where I want to be. I don't want to give up. I want to be healthy.

I am also planning on ordering some Juice Plus Complete so I can have some shakes for meal replacements. I am also planning on starting my Juice Plus capsules order so I can be taking it daily and so my kids can get it. I'm excited about the future. Besides, shopping here in Texas is amazing and I want a piece of that action but I can't enjoy it until I drop like 5 sizes!! So I look forward to those days.

Chicken Salad first try

So I attended a back to school lunch today with a few friends where we learned about healthy eating and foods to avoid and where we learned more about Juice Plus+. We were supposed to bring something to eat and the only thing I could think of was Chicken Salad but I have never made it before. I don't know why I wanted to make some so badly but I thought I would give it a try. Here's what I did:
4 boneless skinless chicken breasts
two stalks of celery chopped ( I like it small)
Half of large red onion chopped
12-15 red grapes chopped
Minced onion
dried sage
Olive oil low fat Mayo
In a large pot I added water enough to cover 4 chicken breasts, and I added maybe a tablespoon of Sage and two table spoons of dried minced onion. I didn't measure I just shook like crazy into the water. I added maybe a teaspoon or two of salt to the water. When water starts boiling add chicken breasts. Boil chicken for 10-12 minutes.
While chicken boils chop other ingredients.
when chicken is done, remove from water but do not dispose of water. Let chicken cool a little then cube into small pieces. Put chicken into a bowl and add other chopped ingredients. Add maybe 4 Tablespoons of Mayo or just enough to coat all ingredients after stirring. Add a small amount of the chicken broth from the pot into the mixture to make it moist to add more of that chicken flavor.
Cool in refrigerator or serve immediately(like I did because I ran out of time to cool it) Serve by itself or on whole wheat bread or rolls.
I really like it and I am usually not a fan of Chicken Salad.