A New Year, A New Me

Well here we go again. I doubt anyone reads this blog anymore but I feel like I need to just vent and get a bunch of stuff out as I begin this new year of 2015 in a healthy light. I feel like I have done this too many times and I want to finish it and be done. I want to feel healthy and look healthy. I was released from a very time consuming calling from church and now I feel like I have more time to focus on me. There are so many things I want to do to improve myself. When it comes to eating healthy and exercising I feel like I am always waiting for that motivation that only comes in spurts and when I don't have it I don't push myself. So last night as I was shoving salad down my throat at 10 o'clock at night, I figured out that determination and motivation are not the same thing. I have to be determined to do this. I need to start with smaller milestones to work to instead of just looking at the end result. So I will make a plan. Here is my plan:
-In 30 days I want to lose 10lbs - I think this is doable. We joined a gym so I have no excuse not to exercise everyday. If I see I can do this then I know I can do more and my next milestone should be bigger
-In 60 days I want to lose 25lbs This one will be tougher because its longer and I'm pretty sure I will struggle. But I will do it and at the end of this goal I will be down a total of 30 lbs. That means shopping trip. My clothes won't fit me anymore so that seems a legit reason to get some new ones.
- In 30 days I want to lose 10 lbs. This is back to a smaller goal but I think the weight loss will start to taper off because I will have lost most of the weight. I will be down 45 lbs which for me is huge.
-In 30 days I want to lose 8 lbs. This is smaller but I think at this point I will be toning and things will be slowing down as I focus on strength.
-In 30 days I want to be down 5 lbs. This will be in June and I will hopefully be down 58 lbs. My goal is to lose 60. After that I will see. Right now I am at 211. At least thats what the Dr. office said yesterday. So this should bring me down to 153 and my final goal is to be down to 140. So I will spread out this final amount over the next 2 months. When I get to that point I will plan it out more.
So there are my goals for weight loss this year. I also plan to practice the piano and flute at least 4 times a week. I have lessons for Piano and I am going to just have to practice the flute on my own. I also plan on going back to school now that the kids are both in school. I want and need to help our family out financially more than I am with my photography and preschool teaching.
Writing in my journal is my last one. I wan't to record what is going on in my life. I want my kids to know what we went through as they grew up. I have missed so much.
So here is to the new year. I will make changes and I will be determined. Even when I don't have motivation, I will have determination. I have lived like this for too long and I want to know what its like to be thin and healthy.